With the pleasantries of the night before a memory, albeit a pleasant one, a question is suddenly raised. When, exactly, is it appropriate to call a girl after the first date?

It’s a question that has been dominating the minds of anyone in a new relationship for at least the last 30 years. Suddenly, the days of arranged marriages and your parents deciding who you marry seem hugely tempting. After all, the decision of when to pick up the phone is littered with pitfalls; call too early and you may appear over-eager, call too late and she may have decided you were never going to call and have moved on. It’s an extremely delicate balance.

Unfortunately, there isn’t any certain answer. If the general perception of calling too soon were to be believed, no man who had ever called a girl the next day after the date would be married – but that isn’t true. There’s also a multitude of people who left it for weeks before calling, for whatever reason, yet still got the girl in the end.

The trick is to judge the girl, not the situation. Does she strike you as the type who wants you to put your cards on the table and be honest? If so, calling the next day isn’t a problem – just leave it until a normal hour. If, however, she seems to want to be wooed and dazzled by your macho side, leave it for a couple of days. Having spent an evening in her company, you should have at least a vague idea of which option is more likely to suit.

Whatever the situation and type of girl she is, one thing you should never do is leave it until a week or more before you dial her number. By that point, she’ll have given up on you. Although the situation isn’t irretrievable, the best bet is to wait for a maximum of four days if you decide to play it that way. Any longer, and you might get her answering machine – because she’s out on another first date, but this time, not with you.

The profile page is, therefore, the most crucial part of your online dating experience. Get it wrong, and no one will contact you. Get it right, and you could just be beating them off with a stick.

The first, and most important aspect, of the profile is the picture. A recent UK study conducted by Match.com revealed that 70% of people won’t even bother to read a profile that doesn’t feature a picture; so including one is a must. However, do make sure it’s a photograph of yourself and was taken in the last five years! If things go well online, you could soon be meeting the women offline, and you really don’t want their first thought to be “good Lord, he’s gained weight / aged badly” etc.

Choose a good, clear, well-lit picture in which you look good, but not so good it looks like you’ve been using PhotoShop. If you are going grey, have a bald patch or a bit of paunch, it really is best to let the photo show that – there’s no need to make it dominant, but don’t make any particular effort to hide it.

Women are more likely to respond to photographs in which you’re laughing or smiling, so even if you don’t have a current good photograph of you with a cheerful expression, take some specifically. There’s no need to overdo it and come across as the second, human coming of the Cheshire Cat, but a gentle smile of genuine relaxed pleasure should do well.

Your photo should never be too “busy” - try and pick one in which you are the only person in it. Make sure you’re dressed well, and no matter how good you look in a bathing suit, always make sure you are at least dressed. Avoid “comedy” poses and “cute” poses – such as ones in which you’re holding a kitten – and, so long as the photograph is a true representation of yourself looking your best, you can’t go far wrong.

Unless you want to disappoint a lot of people – and find yourself branded a liar – the only way to approach the content of your online dating profile page is to do it honestly.

If you haven’t had a date in a while, it might seem like a wonderful idea to tell women of the internet, via your profile, that you earn a ridiculous amount of money, are often mistaken for Brad Pitt and that you don’t even really like football. But the fact remains that as soon as you meet up with any women offline – which, of course, is the entire point – you’re going to be discovered pretty quickly.

Start with a brief, genuine overview of your life – occupation, education, interests, living situation. There’s no need to write the dating profile equivalent of War and Peace; a couple of paragraphs is all you need to convey a sense of self.

Within this, an absolute must is to be extremely careful with your spelling and grammar. It may seem judgmental, but many women will dismiss someone as a possible match purely because they write badly. Structure sentences properly, capitalise the necessary letters and at all costs avoid abbreviated ‘txt spk’.

As a finishing touch, you should personalize your profile a little beyond the standard information and ‘about me’ section. Write a little about your favourite memories, and why they’re important to you. This offers a little glimpse into your psyche that most women will appreciate. But once again, the cardinal rule applies – be truthful! Use a real memory, no matter how embarrassing you perceive it to be, as so long as you can word properly why it means so much, it will be understood.

As far as first dates go, the stereotypical “dinner and a movie” is quite a decent option. Schedule it so that you see the film first, then go to dinner – this should give you an easy conversation starter if there are any awkward pauses. Since the occasional awkward pause seems to be a prerequisite for a first date, having a topic of conversation at hand can be extremely useful.

However, dinner and a movie isn’t exactly… inventive. If you want to appear a little more spontaneous and thoughtful, you are going to have to put a bit of work in to it. What are her interests? If the answer is something like art, history, museums or theatre – then the ideal location for the first date is obvious. However, it is important to plan with her – there’s no point buying tickets for a theatre show or a museum exhibit that she’s already seen.

Over recent years, dating experts have tried to suggest activity-type first dates, such as snowboarding (at a permanent slope) or playing golf. Yet these first dates are fraught with worry, and while they may seem like a good ice-breaking which offers natural conversation points, they can actually be more hassle than they’re worth. Activities like these require a certain level of easy banter, something which isn’t exactly plentiful on the majority of first dates.

No, the best advice is to keep it simple – dinner and a film, show, gallery or even place of historical interest. Putting a little effort in to selecting the venue will get you far more Brownie points than any snowboarding pass ever could.

When the cheque arrives, the best advice is to wait a second and see how the girl you’re on the date with reacts. Some women may automatically move for their handbag, in which case you know she at least wants to contribute – still offer to pay, but don’t force the issue. If she’s looking around the room and at anything but the cheque, chances are she’s an old-fashioned girl and expects you to pick up the tab.

When setting off on a date, always be ready for having to pay. Never assume – even if the girl seems to be very big on feminism – that she will pay. If she was expecting you to pay and you’ve not brought your wallet, it’ll probably be the death of a promising relationship. If you are paying yourself, do it quietly and discreetly and never imply that she in any way now “owes” you. Ridiculously, some men do do this, even if it is just with a cheeky comment.

In most situations, however, the girl will offer to pay fully or at least contribute. In these circumstances, insisting you want to pay is fine – but only do it once. Anything more than that and you’re bordering on insulting. If after your first insistence she still wants to go Dutch, accept it graciously. It is then critical that you don’t fall into the trap of trying to decide who ate what and paying for your own food – simply halve the bill between you, even if she did order more. If she does want to itemise what was ordered, go with it and be honest.

At all times, no matter who ends up punching their PIN number into the machine, be gracious and appear generous – but never insistent. The best thing is that, over time, this problem will solve itself as you get to know each other. So even if the first cheque arrival is uncomfortable, the next one will be ten times easier.

These sites work like a conventional online dating website, meaning you upload a profile, fill it with as much information as you feel like sharing, and then submit it. Women can then find your profile and contact you if they’re interested, and you too can look around the website and contact women you’re interested in. What niche websites do is eliminate some of the variation by only allowing people with certain characteristics to join.

This is obviously hugely beneficial. I’m sure more than one person has had a girlfriend end a relationship due to what they deemed an unhealthy love of football, television or similar – but using a niche website, you can find someone with the same interests, thus eliminating the possibility of “deal breaking” interests.

With this in mind, there shouldn’t be a problem finding your particular niche. A quick Google search brings up dating websites specifically for dancers, single parents, executive professionals, tall people, atheists and – on the other end of the scale – devout Christians. There are literally hundreds of other niches available.

However, be warned when using niche websites. It is probably only best if that niche is a dominant factor in your life. By joining only niche websites, you are limiting yourself – and plenty of marriages exist happily and peacefully, with husband and wife having very little in common.

It is easy to think that every meeting between the parents of a girl and her boyfriend is disastrous. The idea of the terrible first meeting is a staple in many sitcom writers scripts, and there has even been a full Hollywood film based on the concept. Yet the fact remains, that if every single first meeting was that bad, no relationship would ever survive – the success stories, in reality, far outnumber the horrors.

So that is perhaps the most essential aspect when it comes to ‘meeting the parents’ – stay relaxed. This may seem as impossible as an ant being able to carry ten times it’s own body weight; but that’s true, so do try and stay as calm as possible. If you’re hyper-sensitive and worried, this will create an immediate atmosphere of friction that can take hours to dissipate.

The trick is to be as outwardly calm as possible while being an extremely polite, courteous version of yourself. Basically, don’t be so nervous you scare them with your radiating tension, but don’t be so relaxed you let out a burp upon taking a pull on your beer. If a difficult situation does arise, just try not to panic. These people are human, in most cases they are not pre-determined to hate you, so even if there is an uncomfortable incident just try and deal with it naturally.

Mostly, if you remember your manners, don’t brag about how great their daughter is in bed and keep the bodily noises to a minimum, you’re probably going to be fine.

History would suggest that they do – after all, chat up lines continue to be used, and typically only words and actions that are successful are repeated throughout history. With a chat up line, however, the best you can probably hope for is a pity laugh at your attempt at humor which leads into real conversation.

The chat up line is predominantly used when the person using it is looking for a short-term fling, with many chat up lines tailored to suit this exactly. Lines such as “the only thing I want between our relationship is Latex!” and “screw me if I’m wrong, but you want to kiss me, don’t you?” do not, after all, hint at a desire for long-term commitment! Yet even men who do want a long term commitment resort to the concept of chat lines from time to time, believing them to be the ultimate ice breaker.

So what are the peaks and the pitfalls of using chat up lines? Well, the peaks are few and far between. Maybe you’ll find the one woman in the world who hasn’t heard your particular favorite line before, and she’ll be flattered and amused. More likely, any woman, upon hearing a contrived chat up line, will simply walk away. The pitfalls are far more likely, so wherever possible – here’s a novel idea! - why not just start with a simple “hello”?

Toward the beginning of civilized society, marriage was not about love. It was not even about companionship – now widely considered the main reason for marriage outside of love – or friendship. Marriage was designed to produce heirs, unite families and procure lands and wealth – whether or not the poor unfortunates forced to wed liked each other was largely irrelevant.

Suddenly, the modern dating ’scene’ doesn’t seem so distasteful. Imagine being forced to marry a woman, someone you quite possibly had never met before. Sometimes the inclination of the newlyweds-to-be was taken into account, but only if the match was otherwise deemed suitable. The marriage would largely be organized by families and, in the cases of the aristocracy, sometimes by the Crown. There was no room for preference, liking, love or passion – and divorce was extremely difficult to obtain.

Although arranged marriages still exist in some parts of the world – and do, in some cases – create happy unions – the variety of choice is now available to men of the Western hemisphere. Modern dating allows the chance to meet, woo, fall in love with and even sleep with a woman before deciding to spend your lives together – it’s the best method humans have ever come up with, so bear that in mind the next time your date for the evening is driving you crazy. At least nowadays, you can say goodbye at the end of the night – in earlier years, you might have been marrying her the next morning!