When To Call After A First Date

In a dream scenario, you and a wonderful girl have just finished a wonderful first date. It was the kind of evening where everything went to plan, she laughed at all your jokes – even the bad ones – and you shared a modest, but magical, kiss goodnight. You’re left to walk home and enjoy the rest of the night in that pleasant glow of having met someone special – until you wake up the next morning.

With the pleasantries of the night before a memory, albeit a pleasant one, a question is suddenly raised. When, exactly, is it appropriate to call a girl after the first date?

It’s a question that has been dominating the minds of anyone in a new relationship for at least the last 30 years. Suddenly, the days of arranged marriages and your parents deciding who you marry seem hugely tempting. After all, the decision of when to pick up the phone is littered with pitfalls; call too early and you may appear over-eager, call too late and she may have decided you were never going to call and have moved on. It’s an extremely delicate balance.

Unfortunately, there isn’t any certain answer. If the general perception of calling too soon were to be believed, no man who had ever called a girl the next day after the date would be married – but that isn’t true. There’s also a multitude of people who left it for weeks before calling, for whatever reason, yet still got the girl in the end.

The trick is to judge the girl, not the situation. Does she strike you as the type who wants you to put your cards on the table and be honest? If so, calling the next day isn’t a problem – just leave it until a normal hour. If, however, she seems to want to be wooed and dazzled by your macho side, leave it for a couple of days. Having spent an evening in her company, you should have at least a vague idea of which option is more likely to suit.

Whatever the situation and type of girl she is, one thing you should never do is leave it until a week or more before you dial her number. By that point, she’ll have given up on you. Although the situation isn’t irretrievable, the best bet is to wait for a maximum of four days if you decide to play it that way. Any longer, and you might get her answering machine – because she’s out on another first date, but this time, not with you.

Online Dating: Tips For Creating A Good Profile Picture

When it comes to joining one of the hundreds of online dating websites available, you will always be asked to create a “Profile”. This is basically your space, your page, on the website which you fill with information about yourself. Women signed up to the website can then browse that page and, if they like what they see, contact you.

The profile page is, therefore, the most crucial part of your online dating experience. Get it wrong, and no one will contact you. Get it right, and you could just be beating them off with a stick.

The first, and most important aspect, of the profile is the picture. A recent UK study conducted by Match.com revealed that 70% of people won’t even bother to read a profile that doesn’t feature a picture; so including one is a must. However, do make sure it’s a photograph of yourself and was taken in the last five years! If things go well online, you could soon be meeting the women offline, and you really don’t want their first thought to be “good Lord, he’s gained weight / aged badly” etc.

Choose a good, clear, well-lit picture in which you look good, but not so good it looks like you’ve been using PhotoShop. If you are going grey, have a bald patch or a bit of paunch, it really is best to let the photo show that – there’s no need to make it dominant, but don’t make any particular effort to hide it.

Women are more likely to respond to photographs in which you’re laughing or smiling, so even if you don’t have a current good photograph of you with a cheerful expression, take some specifically. There’s no need to overdo it and come across as the second, human coming of the Cheshire Cat, but a gentle smile of genuine relaxed pleasure should do well.

Your photo should never be too “busy” - try and pick one in which you are the only person in it. Make sure you’re dressed well, and no matter how good you look in a bathing suit, always make sure you are at least dressed. Avoid “comedy” poses and “cute” poses – such as ones in which you’re holding a kitten – and, so long as the photograph is a true representation of yourself looking your best, you can’t go far wrong.

Who Pays For Dinner?

Once upon a time, when the cheque arrived at the end of a meal, the man paid. This was a given, socially accepted and understood by all. But the onset of feminism has clouded the waters somewhat, leaving many men almost afraid to offer to pay for dinner in case they are labelled chauvinistic. On the flip side, women often regard men who don’t offer to pay as skinflint – peril awaits with both options. So what’s a man to do?

When the cheque arrives, the best advice is to wait a second and see how the girl you’re on the date with reacts. Some women may automatically move for their handbag, in which case you know she at least wants to contribute – still offer to pay, but don’t force the issue. If she’s looking around the room and at anything but the cheque, chances are she’s an old-fashioned girl and expects you to pick up the tab.

When setting off on a date, always be ready for having to pay. Never assume – even if the girl seems to be very big on feminism – that she will pay. If she was expecting you to pay and you’ve not brought your wallet, it’ll probably be the death of a promising relationship. If you are paying yourself, do it quietly and discreetly and never imply that she in any way now “owes” you. Ridiculously, some men do do this, even if it is just with a cheeky comment.

In most situations, however, the girl will offer to pay fully or at least contribute. In these circumstances, insisting you want to pay is fine – but only do it once. Anything more than that and you’re bordering on insulting. If after your first insistence she still wants to go Dutch, accept it graciously. It is then critical that you don’t fall into the trap of trying to decide who ate what and paying for your own food – simply halve the bill between you, even if she did order more. If she does want to itemise what was ordered, go with it and be honest.

At all times, no matter who ends up punching their PIN number into the machine, be gracious and appear generous – but never insistent. The best thing is that, over time, this problem will solve itself as you get to know each other. So even if the first cheque arrival is uncomfortable, the next one will be ten times easier.

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